The year the ‘auntie’ who roamed the famous streets of China got freedom
Sixty-year-old Chinese grandmother Su Min had no intention of becoming a feminist icon.
She was simply trying to escape her abusive husband when she hit the road in 2020 in her white Volkswagen hatchback with a rooftop tent and her pension.
She recalls the moment she walked away from her old life, saying, “I felt like I could finally breathe on my own.” “I felt like I could survive and find the way of life I wanted.”
The video diary he shared of his adventures over the next four years and 180,000 miles, detailing decades of pain, gained him millions of cheerleaders online. They called her the “Street Auntie” because she unknowingly became a hero to women who felt trapped in their own lives.
Her story is now a hit film which was released in September – Like a Rolling Stone – and she made the BBC’s list of 100 Inspiring and Influential Women of 2024.
It was a year of big moments, but if she had to sum up in one word what 2024 means to her, she says that word would be “freedom.”
As soon as Su Min started driving, she felt free, she told the BBC over the phone from Shenyang – just before she headed south for the winter in her new SUV with a caravan.
But it wasn’t until 2024, when she finally filed for divorce, that she experienced “another kind of freedom.”
It took a while to get there: it’s a complicated process in China and her husband refused to divorce her until she agreed to pay him. They have settled on 160,000 yuan ($21,900; £17,400) but she is still waiting for the divorce certificate.
But she is adamant she doesn’t want to look back: “I’m saying goodbye to him.”
path to freedom
In his new life on the road, Su Min’s duty is to himself.
Most of her videos feature just her. Although she drives alone, she never seems alone. She interacts with her followers as she films her travels, explaining what she’s cooking, how she spent the previous day and where she’s going next.
His audiences travel with him to places they never knew they would – the snow-capped mountains of Xinjiang, the ancient river cities of Yunnan, the sparkling blue lakes, the vast grasslands, the endless desert.
They admire his bravery and envy the independence he adopts. She has rarely heard such a first-hand account of the reality of life as a “sugar aunty.”
“You’re so brave! You decided to be free,” wrote one follower, while another urged her to “live the rest of your life well for yourself!”. One woman asked for advice because she too “dreams of driving alone” and one surprised follower said: “Mom, look at her! When I grow up, if I don’t get married I’ll live a colorful life like her! “
For some, the suggestions are more practical and inspirational: “After watching your videos, I’ve learned this: As women, we should own our own homes, foster friendships far and wide, be financially independent. Must work hard for and invest in unemployment insurance!”
Through all this, Su Min processes her past. On the road he encounters a stray cat who reminds him of himself, both of them “have endured years of wind and rain but still managed to love this world that sprinkles dust in our faces”. . Going to the market, where she smells chilli, “smells freedom” because during her marriage spicy food was banned by her husband, who did not like it.
For years, Su Min was a dutiful daughter, wife, and mother – even as her husband repeatedly assaulted her.
“I was a traditional woman and I wanted to stay in my marriage for the rest of my life,” she says. “But ultimately I saw that I got nothing in return for all my energy and effort – only beatings, violence, emotional abuse. And gaslighting.”
Her husband Du Zhoucheng has confessed to beating her. “It’s my fault that I beat you up,” she said in a recent video shared on Douyin, TikTok’s China platform.
According to local media reports, the high school graduate had worked in a government job at the Ministry of Water Resources for 40 years before retiring. He told an outlet in 2022 that he beat his wife because she “talked” and that it was “a normal thing”: “In a family, how can there not be some bangs and accidents?”
when called for duty
Su Min married Du Zhoucheng “actually to escape my father’s control, and to escape the entire family”.
He was born and raised in Tibet until 1982, when his family moved to Henan, a bustling province in the valley along the Yellow River. She had just finished high school and got a job at a fertilizer factory, where most of her female coworkers, including those under the age of 20, already had husbands.
Her marriage was arranged by a matchmaker, which was common practice at the time. She spent most of her life cooking and taking care of her father and three younger brothers. “I wanted to change my life,” she says.
Both of them had met only twice before marriage. She was not looking for love, but she hoped that love would grow after marriage.
Su Min did not find love. But he had a daughter, and that’s one reason he convinced himself he needed to tolerate the abuse.
She says, “We are always afraid of ridicule and blame if we divorce, so we all choose to endure, but in fact, this kind of patience is not right.” “I later found out that, in fact, it can have quite an impact on children. Children actually don’t want you to suffer, they want you to stand up bravely and give them a harmonious home.”
After her daughter’s marriage, she thought of leaving her husband, but soon she became a grandmother. His daughter had twins – and was called to duty once again. She realized she needed help caring for him, even though by now she had been diagnosed with depression.
“I thought I would get sicker if I didn’t go,” she says. She promised her daughter that she would take care of both boys until they went to kindergarten, and then she would leave. .
The spark that inspired her escape came to light in 2019 through social media. He found a video of someone traveling while living in his van. This was it, he thought to himself. This was his way.
Even the pandemic didn’t stop him. In September 2020, she moved from her marital home in Zhengzhou and crossed 20 Chinese provinces and more than 400 cities, barely looking back.
It’s a decision that has certainly had an impact on women in China. To her millions of followers, Su Min provides comfort and hope. “We women are not just someone’s wife or mother…let’s live for ourselves!” one follower wrote.
Many of them are mothers who share their own struggles. They tell her they too feel trapped in suffocating marriages – some say their stories have inspired them to get out of abusive relationships.
One of the top comments on one of her most-viewed videos reads, “You are a hero to thousands of women and many now see the possibility of a better life because of you.”
Another comment said, “When I turn 60, I hope I can be as independent as you.”
A third woman asks: “Auntie Su, can I travel with you? I will bear all the expenses. I just want to take a trip with you. I feel so trapped and depressed in my current life.”
‘love yourself’
“Can you find the life of your dreams?” Su Min pondered the call. “I want to tell you that no matter how old you are, as long as you work hard, you will definitely find your answer. Just like me, even though I’m 60 now, I found what I’m looking for I was looking for it.”
She admits that it was not easy and she had to live frugally on her pension. She thought video blogs could help raise some money – she didn’t know they would go viral.
She talks about what she’s learned over the years and her latest challenge – finalizing a divorce.
“I haven’t received my divorce certificate yet, because there is a cooling-off period in the law and we are in that period now.”
One of her followers wrote that the money she gave her husband was “worth every penny”, adding: “Now it’s your turn to see the world and live a vibrant, uncontrolled life. Congratulations, Aunty.” – Here’s to a colorful and fulfilling future! “
She says it is hard to get a divorce because “many of our laws in China are to protect the family. Women often do not dare to get a divorce because of family discord.”
At first, she thought Du Zhoucheng’s behavior might improve with time and distance, but she said he still threw “pots and pans” at her upon her return.
Over the past few years he has only called her twice – once because her highway access card was linked to his credit card and he wanted her to return the 81 yuan (£0.90). She says she hasn’t used that card since.
Undeterred by the delay in getting a divorce, Su Min is planning more trips and hopes to travel abroad one day.
She’s worried about overcoming language barriers, but she’s confident her story will resonate around the world – as it has in China.
“Although women are different in every country, I would like to say that no matter what environment you are in, you should be good to yourself. Learn to love yourself, because only when you love yourself, the world will be full of sunshine. Might be possible.”
Additional reporting by Fan Wang in Singapore