‘I lied about my husband’s death to save him’

A woman who lied about the cause of death of her husband to protect his memory after his suicide has said she wants to reduce the stigma about depression among Muslims.

Ayaz, from Doncaster, died in 2019, but his wife Aqeela Mohammed initially told family and friends that he had died of a heart attack.

However, she said she later realized that people needed to talk more about their mental health and seek help.

Last month, he launched the city’s first Muslim wellness conference, which aimed to tackle the taboos associated with suicide and depression, saying: “If you’re struggling with your mental health problems it doesn’t make you any less Muslim.”

Ms Mohammed said Ayaz, who was 48 at the time of his death, was a “wonderful man and father”.

“On the surface he looked like a really strong man, a happy man, but in the end these demons took over him,” he said.

Ms Mohammed hid the real cause of his death for six months because she thought people would not understand that she had mental health problems.

“I knew what they would say,” she said.

“As a Muslim man, you are seen as the head of the family and where do you go? Who will you talk to? You can’t talk to your community because no one does.”

Ms Mohammed said Muslims have been led to believe that taking someone’s life is forbidden.

He said there were “not a lot of organizations” dedicated to helping Muslims struggling with depression.

“When you think your community will think you’re crazy, or they don’t want you to talk openly about it — you’ll hide it, and that will make it more difficult,” she said.

The Muslim Welfare Conference, organized by Ms Mohammed, was held in Doncaster on 23 November.

Imam Habib Minhas of the city’s Sultania Mosque, who spoke at the event, said: “There is a lot of stigma around mental health, especially in our Muslim community. It’s a very taboo subject and not talked about.”

He said he hoped the conference would “open doors so people can be vocal about what issues they’re going through”.

Ms Mohammed said her aim was to improve access to support for people suffering from mental health problems so they do not have to go through the same experience as her husband.

“I hope they’re proud of what we’re doing right now,” he said.

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