‘Expect the best but accept that it could go wrong’: the golden rules of Christmas

Be it early gifts or the long-awaited Christmas dinner, the festive season involves a lot of things that can go wrong.

It’s the little things that matter this time of year – and your etiquette is no exception.

The BBC has spoken to experts about the potentially awkward moments you may encounter over the next few days, so you can try to avoid them.

A common issue with festivals is getting a gift you don’t like. Is it best to tell the person who gave it to you, or lie, that you like it?

According to Rupert Wesson of professional coaching company Debrett’s, it depends on how well you know the person giving you the gift.

“There are some people (to whom) you can tell that the gift is not for you, and for some you have to smile and tell them a little white lie that you like it,” he told the BBC.

But whatever you do, “don’t make a funny face” when opening a gift, warns etiquette coach Laura Windsor.

“Just pretend you do (like it), and make a little comment on how useful the gift will be,” she says. “Etiquette is to always be kind.”

Both etiquette coaches say it’s OK to donate an unwanted gift to charity or re-gift it to someone else in the future.

Mr. Wesson suggests that you should “always” have a gift receipt when buying a gift – and he has these words of reassurance: “We can’t all be perfect at buying the perfect thing.”

While the price of turkey and Brussels sprouts has declined this year, Prices of root vegetables have increased And some families are feeling the pinch this winter.

Ms Windsor recommends that you create a “Christmas pot” that everyone contributes to before the big day.

Alternatively, she says you can ask each guest – or family member – to purchase one item of food or drink.

“In this day and age, there’s no shame in saying: ‘I’m bringing people together for Christmas, will you be able to provide that?'” says Mr Wesson.

Sometimes when the whole family is together, small arguments can erupt – perhaps over eating or drinking too much.

“Don’t take it personally, just try to smooth it over,” says Ms Windsor, adding that you shouldn’t give people “the power to keep complaining”.

She advises to try to change the topic of conversation, but avoid difficult topics.

“You have to keep the conversation excited.”

If there are any existing tensions between guests before December 25, Mr. Wesson suggests trying to address them in advance when making your plans before Christmas Day.

“Make invitations (for guests or extended family) almost conditional on no one coming out,” he says.

Ms. Windsor advises not to say too many “thank yous” to the host because it “takes away its value.”

She suggests showing your appreciation to the host in other ways, including offering to help them with anything, bringing them a gift — like a bottle of wine or a plant — and mingling with other guests. Is.

“Mix it up a bit by complimenting them on the quality of the food,” says Mr. Wesson.

“Appreciating how good food is goes a long way.”

Both etiquette experts recommend sending the host a thank-you note after Christmas Day, which Mr. Wesson calls “the gold standard of thanks.”

If you have dietary needs, such as being vegetarian or vegan, let whoever is hosting your Christmas dinner know ahead of time, and not just on December 25, Ms. Windsor emphasizes.

“It’s about prevention, about preventing discord – everything has to be organized in advance,” she says.

Mr Wesson says: “It’s up to the host to really identify what the needs are and then the host can plan.”

Ms Windsor says if there is any tension between people over dietary requirements, “be empathetic” but stop the conversation.

“If they make a non-cordial comment, don’t take it to heart.”

If your stomach is growling for Christmas dinner and you’re growing impatient about how long it will take to cook, Mr Wesson suggests you can offer to help.

He says, “Then you’ll lay the groundwork and maybe suggest we can share something (to eat before Christmas dinner).

But when you finally get to dinner, what do you do if you don’t like it?

When asked if you’re enjoying the meal, say “yes,” says Ms. Windsor.

“If you don’t want to eat it, leave it out,” she adds — and you can always say you’ve “eaten enough” to eat it.

“Try to draw as little attention as possible” to the fact that you’re not eating, advises Mr Wesson.

To prevent this situation from happening, try to see if the host will let everyone put their own food on their plate and then “don’t pile on too much” if you don’t like this.

Work, child care, school – too many things in life can get in the way and cause you to miss the December 25 deadline to send Christmas cards and gifts.

Ms Windsor says the organization is “very, very important” because it shows “you’ve put a lot of thought and time and effort into making sure they get it in time for Christmas”.

However, she says you “have to take into account people’s daily situation”.

Mr Wesson says “it’s better late than never” but advises people to send a message to anyone sending a card or gift letting them know it’s on the way and apologies for the delay. Ask for.

The entire run-up to Christmas Day depends on preparation – both organizing the day and planning family interactions, says Mr Wesson.

“It’s trying to hope for the best but also accepting the possibility that things might go a little crazy,” he says.

“Often these things are really not that serious and often don’t ruin the whole day.”

“The golden rule: Treat others as you want to be treated,” says Ms. Windsor. “You wouldn’t go wrong with that.”